hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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