Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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