Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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