OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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