i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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