just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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