based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize