I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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