so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize