So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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