I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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