I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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