Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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