ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
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