Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize