You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
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Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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