it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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