Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize