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I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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