I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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