Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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