Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize