Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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