Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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