I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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