i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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