is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
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He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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