respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
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