She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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