I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize