Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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