i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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