I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize