My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
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don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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