I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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