Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I fill condoms, not promises.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize