have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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