Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
be right there i have to get my cape
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize