mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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