it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
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We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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