What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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