i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize