When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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