bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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