Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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