I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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