i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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