so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
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After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
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we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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