I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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