I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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